[Shakespeare on screen] Cymbeline (2014)

cast: Ethan Hawke, Ed Harris, Milla Jovovich, Dakota Johnson, Penn Badgley, John Leguizamo, Anton Yelchin

directed by: Michael Almereyda

“Kneel not to me.
The pow’r that I have on you is to spare you;
The malice towards you to forgive you. Live,
And deal with others better.”

“Cymbeline” was one of the movies I was expecting with bathed breath. Honestly, I hoped against hope and finally, I had the chance to see the movie this weekend. Now let me tell you how it went and why you probably should read the play and hope for a better movie in the near future.

This little project came with a catchy tag line, a mash-up between Sons of Anarchy and Game of Thrones. Now, we know that Shakespeare wasn’t afraid to cut down his characters but here’s when the lovely saying, less is more would have worked wonders. For the movie in terms of promotion. Shakespeare has written a very good play. Almereyda…well, he failed to rise to the challenge.

In true fashion to what we saw in terms of Shakespeare on Screen, this play had the upgrade of modern times. Yes, we saw it since Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo+Juliet hit Venice Beach and Joss Whedon gave it a whirl with “Much Ado About Nothing”. Since bikers were the latest fashion, I guess that the approach of let’s make the king Cymbeline, the leader of a biker gang with a pin up Queen by his side was a smart move. Here’s where everything blows to pieces.

I’m not one to really have a thing against casting, really, but Dakota Johnson whispering Shakespeare together with Penn Badgley as her paramour is the most fun I had in an unlikely pair on screen since Johnson latest brush with success. If Johnson is demure and sweet to the point you feel the need to shake her up a bit and hope she fleshes out her character, Badgley is the living proof that sometimes you really need a Brit if you’re going to attack Shakespeare.

The modern setting and the twist had everything working for a gritty, bloody alchemy of Shakespeare drama and delicious acting chops. What we got was close to a snore fest with Milla Jovovich donning a tiara and crooning a tune while hoping to cast the veil of  “I’m a dangerous creature with an agenda” and Harris looking a little worse to wear even though that leather jacket is damn fine. I guess someone remembered John Leguizamo’s flamboyant take on Tybalt in Romeo+Juliet and decided to bring him on board because, maybe, lighting strikes twice. In this case it didn’t happened. You also get Ethan Hawke in what would one of his worse performance ever and Yelchin trying to be a villain. Yeah, right.

So what went wrong with this project?

Everything! It didn’t have a strong voice. It didn’t compel or engage the audience. It was a shamble of miscast characters and a lifeless adaptation of a perfectly good play. It really could have borrowed from Sons of Anarchy in terms of vibe but it remained a shallow attempt.