#GeekSHEroes – Inspiration and a Silver Arm

By Dani Malone / #GeekSHEroes

I love cosplay.  The costumes, the designs, the friendships, and the travel.  All of it has made being a cosplayer an amazing journey.  It’s a chance to create, lose yourself in a character, and not worry about the world for a little while.   However, there is a dark side that is not just brushed under the rug, but openly ignored by many because people feel entitled by “Free Speech” to be cruel and trite.  It took me quite a time to find a character that I could be comfortable as. Then I read the background for the movie version of James “Bucky” Barnes.  Bingo.  This was the character for me.  From his protectiveness of others, to the fractured mind from the many abuses he endured. Then I discovered I was the same height as Sebastian Stan.  Double score.

As a person who is overweight,  I already have many marks against me in the cosplay world.  So-called fans will steal pictures, make rude and hurtful comments such as “fat-ass”  “fat winter soldier”, “quit cosplaying, you hurt my eyes”  “this is an insult to Sebastian”.  I have gone to great lengths to look like the character I am dressing up as, from growing my hair out, working with metal and latex, to purchasing movie accurate props such as the discontinued Gerber Knives.

While living in Manhattan, and browsing different sites to attempt to find a workout and diet regiment, I had found an interview that Sebastian Stan had done talking about Aerobox.  I went downtown to the gym he spoke of, checked prices, and committed myself to training at least once a week at Michael Olajide, Jr’s gym: Aerospace HPC .  Over the course of a little over 3 months of diet and exercise I lost over 60 lbs, had the same chest circumference as Mr. Stan (when bound), and the same bicep circumference.  I was finally starting to like what I was seeing in the mirror when I wore the costume.

Instead of mocking, or looking down upon the cosplay that I chose to pursue, Michael was (and still is) very supportive.  In fact, when I returned to NYC for an event, I was invited back to Aerospace HPC to do the workout in The Winter Soldier costume.   It was possibly the hardest workout I have done in my life, as the costume is tight, does not breath well,  the fake arm has some weight to it. It was in the middle of the workout, I feel like I want to drop, and Michael steps in front of me saying “Come on Winter Soldier!”.  Inspiration.  Keep moving.  Keep pushing. Move forward.  It’s my Mission.  At the end of the workout, everything hurt.  Arms, legs, knees, abdomen were all screaming while I was drenched in sweat.  However this hurt pushed me to become better.  It wasn’t the hurt of a nameless, faceless coward hiding behind a screen.  It was a hurt that would build me up to deal with even the most venomous of persons attacking myself or others.  Instead of being met with mocking accusations or vitriol by my fellow Aerospace members (Aerophytes as Michael calls us), I was met with support.  Some people asked about the costume, while others posed with me for photos, including Michael.

At the gym I learned to never give up.  Even when you want to give up and drop.  Keep moving forward.  Work hard and never let anyone take away your accomplishments.

photos by Dani Malone