It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Not!

I love Christmas. It’s not about the food, the presents, the shopping sprees and the shitty TV programs; it’s about the break from work, hanging out with the family, listening to various carols and taking a break from the real world. Here’s what I hate. The period immediately after the winter holidays. Those gloomy hours when you have to take down the Christmas decorations and face your agenda. In that moment, the notion of snow becomes a synonym to grueling hours facing the traffic, cold, broken bones and with any luck (not) a flu.

Something truly depressing kick-starts after January 1st. Not just the reminder that soon you have to go work and please, spare me with the happy-go-lucky bullshit of loving your job. I don’t. And what I love, it doesn’t come with a paycheck.

You see kids, that’s what real life and adulthood means. It’s like a scary movie and no one can give you a formula which works so you can avoid the bumpy rides. You just have to suck it up and hope for better.

So here I am, taking down the Christmas decorations I had enjoyed for a whole month – yes, judge me, I also listened to carols from the moment I noticed it’s December, look at all the fucks I give – and putting them back in their various boxes. I hate the feeling. Literally, I wish I could throw some punches and scream from the top of my lungs: I HATE THIS!

Yes, I actually did that today.

You see, I’m not a big fan of New Year resolutions and January. I tend to ignore the first two-three months of the year. I curse and despise and bury myself into binge watching movies – that lovely trade I like yet I don’t get paid for – and reading.

I look outside and that fluffy, white snow for me it’s a sign of doom. It means I have to go to work earlier because I walk on ice like an eighty years old granny. Why? Because I don’t fucking want to end up in the ER with a broken arm or leg. Or both! Also, because the traffic it’s hellish and getting to work is close to reaching Mordor.

Winter is beautiful during those wonderful days when family and friends come together. When real life, woes and troubles vanish into a cloud of cinnamon, mulled wine and chocolate. When you can wake up at 10AM with no worries. It feels better than it was when we were kids because now, we treasure this freedom we conquer for a few days.

Christmas doesn’t last forever. The magic wears off on January 1st. Each and every time. On that day, I can’t for the life of me listen to carols and ABBA’s “Happy New Year” is more depressing than Adele’s “Hello”. With that ABBA song, my beautiful holidays finally come to an end and I have to accept it, face it and get ready to get back to the real world. I loathe with a passion the real world. Especially during winter. When the days are short and the nights are long and cold.

So what can I do?

Chant a mantra inside my head about how everything will be alright? Sorry, I’m not that kind of girl. My sarcasm level is like a firewall protecting me from unwanted bullshit. And since we’re on the subject of New Year resolution, I have only one, it’s on repeat for ten years and so far, I can conclude I can’t cross it off my bucket list.

Cheer up? Don’t be so doom and gloom? Honey, cut the crap and smell the coffee. Unless my life and yours isn’t a copy of those lifestyle “I work how I want, when I want and make enough dough to go on a vacation in Miami twice a year, with little to no effort”, reality bitch-slaps you and you’re back in the arms of agonizing meetings, deadlines and to-do lists. For some it works, for others is a day-by-day prayer of not snapping and going on a murder spree.

I’m a cheerful one when I don’t talk about movies. Well, brace yourselves lasses and lads because this year, this place will be a movies review magazine meets therapy combo, complete with rants, giggles and other fun activities. Why? Because a shrink costs a fortune and I put the money for safe keeping – back to London.

Truth is like in the lovely tale of “Peter Pan”, a long time ago when I realized I was an adult, I realized what I’ve lost. When we’re kids, we dream of the days when we’ll have that awesome job we wished for, we get excited for the parties but truth is, few of us actually get the whole fancy ride. What we love to do doesn’t come with a steady pay check and the parties and good times? After ten hours of work and getting to and back from the trenches, the good times translate into binge watching Netflix and catching up on some light reading. Not so glamorous, right? And in some way – many ways – it’s our fault. And that’s why this is not the most wonderful time of the year. Because you remember all those dreams and they crash into your head with enough force to push you into the right direction. Take back your life, reach those dreams and stop wasting your life. See? Therapy meets reality – when you actually form a plan and follow it through and through.

So I face January – with coffee during the day and a glass of chilled red wine in the evening, not all the evenings – and I plan because life is short.

Yours truly,

I

photo source: here