My mirror and me

by Miriam Mircea

I don’t write often, but when I do…

So … 2015, bye-bye. I don’t know how it was for you, but for me it was an immense emotional carousel. It was good and bad, when it was good, it was very good …. so good that I need a drink to keep myself in check every time I think about those moments.

Fate, destiny, karma. They all exist. Angels, demons, spirits? Those too. Some entity out there bigger than everything, bigger than the Darkness and the Light, made us choose who we will be for lifetimes to come. All we do is play along the dotted line.

As I sit home, drinking left over champagne (how Bridget Jones of me, I know) and listening to Dead Can Dance, I just had to write this. It’s my story of life, happiness, sunshine, sea, success and so much love….

I met some special people this year, some from very far away and others closer to me but just a few made a huge difference. They taught me lessons. They made me push my limits and discover new ones. And he made me feel love out of this world.

I’m not gonna get all cheesy here, it ain’t my style. Or not in public at least. This year was very hard for everyone I know. So extremely sad things happened back home in Romania and we still mourn the lives lost senselessly in that Bucharest fire. We prayed, we shed tears, it hurt like a bitch and the wounds are fresh and open.

Some good things happened too, for all of us, no matter how small and insignificant. We just have to look carefully, they’re there, I promise. Let’s stop chasing big and learn to love small steps too.

How was your love life? Good, I hope, no shaking or stirring, no messing around, no heartbreaks. I won’t get into much detail about mine,because you don’t care about that. But I will share with you my lessons.

Writing this is my therapy. I’ve needed countless walks in the forest, many nights of lost sleep, days of waiting in order to wrap my head around a few things.

Someone special taught me how to open my eyes and really see what is sent to me. I will forever be grateful for this gift. I also learned that soul mates do exist. You knew that, I’m sure. Please don’t shake your head and dismiss it as a cliche. Whoever knows me, knows how skeptical and ironic I can get. Well, yes, I found mine or he found me.

Perfect love story? Nope. No, no, no. Do you know why? Because life happened and got in the way. Does he know we’re soul mates? Probably not. Will he ever know? No…too many “no” in here. Do I love him? With all, my heart and I have never planned for this to happen. Does he know? Again, you guessed, no.

So, my darlings, if the universe blesses you with a soul mate … Grab the chance and to hell with everything standing in your way to try and be together. Just drop it all and give it a chance. It could be the best thing that’s ever happened to you. No, cut that. It is the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about…

I’m starting to sound like Danielle Steel, so I’ll drop the teacher attitude (sorry, sometimes my professional self takes over, you know, teacher, glasses bla bla). This man is…one of a kind, truly. I’m positive that when he was created even the Fairy godmothers fell for him. The worst part is that he doesn’t know how fantastic he is. And there’s no one there next to him to tell him so … its beyond words, it’s all feelings and deep heartbeats and stolen breaths.

I know he’ll probably never read this. Which is good I guess … he might think I’m crazy or so … I will always cherish in the depths of my soul that one moment when I met him. I won’t give details. Those are mine and only mine, just like his time spent with me is. And forever will be.

Be careful and keep your eyes open, keep your soul clean and your mind in check. Because when he or she will come for you, and believe me,they will, you want to give them the best version of yourself.

Oh, by the way, if anyone knows how to get over the biggest unfulfilled wish of ones life , please let me know. ‘Cause I still haven’t found what I’m looking for…

Have a good 2016. And by good I mean pure and positive. Remember, your thoughts are more powerful that you will ever know.

Lots of love to you all,
M.

photo source: Anticariatul de noapte